What's a nice girl to do to stop being so darned good and giving that people mistake her for either their mother or Mother Theresa? That's what Nice Girl Recovery Tips are for. They're tried-and-true ways for nice girls to use their mouths for speaking instead of nibbling and noshing. You know, to get your point across. These tips are nuggets of wisdom for de-nicing yourself and building the skills needed to take care of yourself as well as you take care of others. Feel free to share your own tips on the Nice Girls Finish Fat message board.
1. Lighten up. Nice girls are too hard on themselves and too easy on others. Turn your thinking around and expect less of yourself and more of other folks.
2. Identify triggers to stress in your family, at work, with friends, in your community. Remove yourself from stressful situations whenever possible. When you can't, prepare yourself for stress ahead of time and be extra nice to you when it's over.
3. Identify friends, family members, colleagues, women in your community, famous females, even celebrities, who are assertive, smart, funny, no-nonsense, successful, and well-balanced and use them as no-more-nice-girl models.
4. List three ways that being nice gets you into deep trouble with friends, family, and at work.
5. Name three people you're going to work on eliminating from your life because they only bring you down and suck the energy out of you.
6. Reflect on whether you want to be overly nice or happier and more content.
7. Be curious and compassionate with yourself. Understand your unhealthy behavior, don't beat yourself up over it.
8. When you want to get a negative response across, say it three times in either the same or slightly different ways. Three's the charm.
9. Say no without giving a long, boring, detailed explanation. Simply stop talking after you get your point across and see if the other person "gets it."
10. List 10 ways you can take care of yourself other than eating.
11. Identify at least two friends you can call whenever for whatever.
12. Answer this question: Why is food better than people?
13. Answer this question: What are you afraid will happen if you stop being so nice?
14. Quit apologizing if you didn't do something wrong. Feel badly, if you must, not guilty.
15. Stop oozing gratitude when people are nice to you. A simple thank you will suffice.
16. Tell someone about a problem they didn't know you had.
17. Ask someone for help - then let them help you without you lifting a finger.
18. Reach out to someone who could become a friend - ask her/him to go for coffee, dinner, to a concert or a movie, for a walk or a bike ride.
19. Leave work on time and refuse to feel guilty.
20. Decline a social invitation without apologizing 27 times.
21. Say no to a friend's cry for help if he or she wouldn't do the same for you.
22. Stop trying to be perfect. Instead, enjoy being wildly imperfect.
23. Don't answer your email or phone messages right away. Let your calls go to voice mail or to your message machine. And watch the world not end.
24. Claim credit for something you've done rather than let someone else steal the glory.
25. Allow someone to be responsible for cleaning up his or her own mess - or not.
26. Stop telling lies, even little white ones, to make people feel better.
27. Have a good laugh over a mistake you made. Or two or three mistakes.
28. Repeat 10 times: I am not wonder woman, I can't fly and have no cape.
29. Ask yourself if you approve of you rather than worrying if someone else will applaud your behavior.
30. Brag about something cool you did, didn't do, bought, didn't buy, saw, or heard.
31. Stay home and do nothing. Practice a little decadence.
32. Sit with an uncomfortable feeling rather than eat.
33. Distract yourself from stress or distress rather than seek out food.
34. Drop out of a work or community activity that's been stressing you out big time.
35. Call someone on it when they try to cut in line in front of you at the bank or the supermarket or go to steal the parking space you're waiting for.
36. Say no without smiling.
37. When someone compliments you, simply say thank you without trying to undo the praise.
38. Stop dieting which only causes you to focus more on the foods you forbid yourself.
39. Get plenty of rest, sleep, and exercise which is called good self-care.
40. If you're talking about a serious problem and a friend brings the conversation back to her, call her on interrupting and not being an attentive listener.
41. Refuse to get in the middle of two people's craziness whether they're family, friends, co-workers, or neighbors.
42. At the end of the day, leave at least one task undone.
43. Do something half-assed or in a mediocre fashion.
44. Walk away or hang up if someone yells or curses at you or talks in a shaming, demeaning, derogatory way.
45. Cry on someone's shoulder.
46. Ask for a hug.
47. If you're not a complainer, whine a little. If you tend to be a victim, can it.
48. Tell someone who owes you money you'd like them to begin paying it back.
49. Let someone whose approval you usually want be angry with you.
50. Tolerate hurting someone's feelings and allow them to get over it in their own time.